10 common SELF DEFEATING BELIEFS that are affecting your life

The decisions we make in life are heavily dependent upon our perspectives and our outlook. Whether it be our perspective on the efficiency of public transport to guide us on how we travel; whether it be our outlook on the quality of a supermarket to guide us on where to shop, or whether it be our thoughts on animal rights to guide us towards a charitable project – our perspectives will form our beliefs and our beliefs will ultimately steer the course of our lives. Whether we recoil or grow in life will also depend upon our belief systems; the beliefs about ourselves, about others and about life in general.

 

 

“Whether you think you CAN or you think you CAN’T, you’re right”

– Henry Ford

 

 

The beliefs that you have acquired about yourself, about others and about aspects of life will underpin the direction of your life.

If, for example, you believe that being an athlete is the purpose of your life, you will inevitably steer your life towards physical training and reaching for that goal. Similarly, if you feel that you are not good enough for athletics, despite having the skills and talent, you will not push yourself to become the athlete you could be.

 

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So I guess the question is – how many of our beliefs are helping us and how many of our beliefs are hindering us? How many serve us and how many are weighing us down? How many of our beliefs are our own and how many are imposed?

 

 

‘To find yourself, think for yourself’

– Socrates

 

To live authentically we must clear the beliefs we have, that are imposed on us which restrict our growth. We can do this by knowing ourselves well, so that we may live as the unique creation of life that we are, rather than a replica of habitual thought patterns.

(See the article WHO AM I?)

 

 

We see the world NOT as it is, but as WE ARE

Bearing in mind that our perspectives can dictate our lives, it seems that knowing and understanding the origin of our own personal perspectives on life, can aid us in breaking free from the limitations we place upon ourselves. For this to occur we must dive into our subconscious mind – that area of our mind that picks up and stores beliefs from the day we are born. This means looking at the influence of our past experiences on our current thought patterns. In other words, we need to be more mindful of what is going on in our heads on a day to day basis!

 

The purpose of life is a matter of opinion. Whether we choose to build an empire, whether we choose to feed the homeless, whether we become superstars, whether we choose to have a family, whether we decide we want to live as a monk in Tibet, whether we do absolutely all of these things, the common thread between our individual purpose is just that: we experience. Any belief system that we have is always based on an experience of some sort, whether it be a belief that all dogs are dangerous due to a bad experience, or whether it be a belief that we are not good enough based on a passing comment made by a friend or family member – it is our EXPERIENCES that give us our PERSPECTIVES.

 

Our perspectives are altered by our experiences on a subconscious level. Compare them to glasses that we wear and see the world through – a smudged pair will hinder our view.

Our perspective on religion, for example, can be heavily dependent upon our experiences of religion; whether it be going to a regular place of prayer as a child and enjoying it, or seeing a particular religion as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ by association due to outside opinion. That experience, be it the physical act of going somewhere or being exposed to an opinion, will start to alter your perspective without your knowledge. Our perspectives on taste as another example, may be heavily dependent upon the associated experiences. We may dislike a particular taste due to an associated state of mind during the tasting of a particular food. We may enjoy a particular taste due to a sense of nostalgia as a result of eating something as a child, which may stay with us for the rest of our lives. Our experience has the ability to ALTER the true essence of a particular flavour, which subsequently gives us our unique preferences and ‘tastes’ (no pun intended!) in life. Until we do not know how our outlook is influenced, we can not be authentic and steer our lives the way we want.

My question to you is – How clear is your perspective?

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Experience is the common denominator in life and it is what affects our outlook and therefore our belief systems. For example, if we have been stung by a wasp as a child, you will start to perceive wasps as being harmful or even develop a phobia. Alternatively, if you have never been stung, you may not be too concerned by them. If you have experienced a conversation as a child whereby you have been told that the world is a scary place, you may grow up to be an anxious adult. Both of these are examples of experiences that form your belief systems.

Experience is not a static form. Life is subject to constant change. No two moments in life are ever the same. Whether it be a thought or whether it be catching a transatlantic flight across the globe, energy is always in motion and subsequently – experience is a constantly changing CONSTANT.  Subsequently we are continuously forming new beliefs and storing them in our subconscious mind. It is therefore in our best interest to be aware of which beliefs to adopt and which to discard on a regular basis. We need some sort of filter, if you like. In order for the ‘filtering process’ to occur we need to be able to ‘watch’ our thoughts and understand our own beliefs.

 

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Spring Clean your Subconscious Mind will ya!

Here are 10 common Self Defeating Beliefs to become aware of and reject:

(based on the work of Aaron Beck, the father of Cognitive Therapy)

 

1. Emotional perfectionism: I should always feel happy, confident, and in control of my emotions.

2. Performance perfectionism: I must never fail or make a mistake.

3. Perceived perfectionism: People will not love and accept me as a flawed and vulnerable human being.

4. Fear of disapproval or criticism: I need everybody’s approval to be worthwhile.

5. Fear of rejection: If I’m not loved, then life is not worth living.

6. Fear of being alone: If I’m alone, then I’m bound to feel miserable and unfulfilled.

7. Fear of failure: My worthwhileness depends on my achievements (or my intelligence or status or attractiveness).

8. Conflict phobia: People who love each other shouldn’t fight.

9. Emotophobia: I should not feel angry, anxious, inadequate, jealous or vulnerable.

10. Entitlement: People should always be the way I expect them to be.

 

How many of the above self defeating beliefs are you subject to? How many of these beliefs dictate your life? Take a moment to have a look!

 

 

Useful ways to clear self defeating beliefs:

 

1) Know yourself. Spend time meditating to understand which thoughts enter your mind space on a regular basis. Observe which thoughts and beliefs need discarding and which ones are useful. (HERE is a useful way to do this – Mindfulness Meditation)

 

2) Replace Self defeating Beliefs with Positive Affirmations. Replace the ‘Impossible’ with the ‘I’m possible’ through repeated positive statements about yourself. (Check out the PowerThoughts Powerful Affirmations HERE)

 

 

“ABSORB WHAT IS USEFUL, DISCARD WHAT IS NOT, ADD WHAT IS UNIQUELY YOUR OWN”

 

– BRUCE LEE

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Risha Joshi

Hi everyone, My name is Risha Joshi and I am a team member, editor and writer for PowerThoughts Meditation Club. I am an avid fan of meditation and strongly believe in the benefits gained by adopting it into our daily lives. I believe we are all connected beings, on a spiritual and evolutionary journey. From a young age I have felt a strong urge to help those who suffer from the consequences of negative thinking patterns. As a part-time Dentist, I apply and teach meditation techniques to my patients. I greatly enjoy helping them to overcome their fears, as well as equipping them with the courage to face their experience. My mission: To help and empower people so that they may see their abundant personal power and potential, in the hope that we may all realise our connection to everything and everyone. If you are reading my articles...I hope that they achieve just that for you. We are One. Namaste. Visit me at www.rishajoshi.com

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