How to LOVE…
We are defining and confusing the term LOVE with the relief experienced as a result of momentary distraction from our pain.
Where love should be expansive, all encompassing and condition free it has now become merely a fleeting sensation of excitement from a brief absence of our fear based insecurities. A compensatory mechanism, if you like. We may ‘love’ a whole host of different things; our friends, our partners, money, a ‘drink’, but we need to identify which of these are enhancing our fears and which are promoting personal growth and wellbeing… and therefore which is pure love and which is escape. The outcome of operating from a platform of fear always leads to unhealthy dependency on money, materials, drugs, over-consumption, consumerism, sex and a huge number of different ‘crutches’. We look outside to fix the inside…unsuccessfully.
To build a ‘home’ on the unhealthy foundations of our fears never provides long term stability… rather than experiencing the enjoyment of living inside the home, you are forever trying to repair it; you look ‘outside‘, to repair the ‘inside‘, before you can actually enjoy living in it. It is almost like bandaging your arm when there is an injury on your leg! It is a pointless endeavour only leading to a ‘lost’ and repetitive sense of being. On the other hand, however, living in an internal home built on awareness and acceptance of ourselves allows for us to enjoy the beauty of the internal and external aspects of us – without the constant need to ‘grasp’ at life. Our perspective and ability to love expands and we increase the amount of energy available to us for this purpose.
Compare it to sitting in a room with a spider on the wall. If you are afraid of the little being, your attention will be on it at all times, you will manoeuvre your body to avoid being in close proximity to it, your energy will be consumed and drained by your focus on it, you will ‘retract’ and miss everything else going on in the room. When you become aware of the impact of this fear and understand the rationale behind it, you will either recognise that the fear is justified and act upon it accordingly OR you will understand the role of your mind in magnifying a seemingly small problem and therefore, automatically, readjust your focus. If however you do not bring awareness to the situation, you may sit in that room focussing on the eight legged buddy for hours and hours.This is how fear can alter our perspective in life. Awareness of ourselves in this situation, suddenly turns our narrow focus into an expanded one, and brings our attention to all aspects of the room.
Love is a state of being
To love is to operate from a platform where fear does not drive you, and therefore a deep understanding of our own fears is necessary. This includes the fears imposed on us, the ones we grow up with, our parents fears that we subconsciously adopt, fears imposed on us by society and by ourselves. Not only does this allow a sustained admiration and love for life, but it breaks us free of the subconscious slavery of the mind and allows a state of liberation. To love is, therefore, a state of being without fear. From this platform, loving acts are possible.
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up, because if you pick it up it dies and ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession, it is about appreciation”
– OSHO
Tips on HOW TO LOVE:
1. Know yourself.
Spend time observing your thoughts and becoming aware of your emotions. This will give you an insight into fear based influences which can then be tracked back to the source. This helps us to understand why we are fearful and where it all started. Being aware of your fears is the end of the process of being fearful.
2. Love yourself.
By loving yourself and accepting your own conditioning you expand your capacity to love and have the ability to see yourself in others. This increases your sense of connection. Also, by treating yourself how you would like to be treated sets the precedent for the sort of love you will accept, allowing others to increase their loving vibration too.
3. Identify any self defeating beliefs.
These can be created and imposed by others and by yourself. This may include your parents, your friends, your family, society, television and so on. Recognise which beliefs serve you, and which beliefs make you retract emotionally (and could therefore do with being discarded!).
4. Meditate.
Meditation takes us to a still place within our minds where we are not pushed and pulled by our insecurities. By being in this place regularly we develop the ability to recognise when our emotions are off-balance and when they are pointing us in the direction of our fears. By shining the light of awareness onto any given fear, we become more conscious of our repetitive patterns of thinking; the fears start to dissolve and we may resume the loving process once again.
NAMASTÉ
RISHA JOSHI
Just got a note from the Universe in my inbox: "In all things Kenneth, always…
"When everyone is thinking alike, then no one is thinking" - Benjamin…
![Recharging Qi Energi With OM Mantra [The Most Relaxing PianoMusic] ⚛](https://powerthoughtsmeditationclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Ompiano-408x272.jpg)
Hi there! Great article you have, I would also want to share my thoughts that Meditation indeed has positive effects not only in the body but also in the mind, a total holistic wellness that brings us to know our inner-self better. It gives us a peace of mind that helps us have a much better perception about our lives.
Our advocacy is to promote the positive effects of meditation, yoga and inner wellness.
Help us, visit our website at http://www.iamthechangeiseek.org and also http://www.goodreads.com/kathleensuneja
Thank you and have a great day!