I remember working with this young woman, her name was Martha. She had a dream of starting her own business. I coached her, and she was so motivated and inspired. Her face, her body, her energy was on fire! We aligned her personal values with the values she needed to have in a job, so that she was completely aligned with her mission. We created a plan with actions steps for the startup itself. She had everything ready; her location, the products, etc. It was all about taking that final leap and just do it! She left my office exited and ready to embrace her future working her dream job.
We met 10 days after for a follow up session and I immediately sensed that things where not as they should be. I asked her right away “how are things progressing?” Like I thought, they had not. Right after her previous session with me she went straight to meet her mother and sister for a coffee. She told them about her dream. Something she should have never done…”How are you going to manage that? You don´t have any experience? What about money, how are you going to support yourself and your family if you don´t sell? Isn´t it better to just work a “safer” job even if you don´t like it? What if it doesn´t work? Are you sure about this? What about your kids?”
All these concerns coming from Martha´s mother and sister, it was a pure reflection of their own personal fears and limiting beliefs. Of course they meant well, but they did not do well by pouring their fears on Martha´s dream. Unfortunately Martha allowed herself to be convinced by their fears. They just wanted her to be safe because they cared about her. That´s the problem. We think we know what´s best for others. We don´t! How can we? What competence did her mother and sister have? Were they following their dream. Did they know anything about business themselves? They had no competence whatsoever in the field that Martha wanted to pursue! If you need to fix your car, do you take it to your dentist for fixing? If you need to have your phone fixed, do you ask a plumber to do it? If you need support to achieve your goals, do you expect to get expert advice from people who has never achieved that specific goal themselves?
People surely pretend to know a lot about what is good for us and not. If it were that easy we should just trade problems, since everyone else seems to know all the solutions to others people´s problems.
When we want to make a change, achieve a goal (small or big), learn something new, etc. We have to find those people that have already succeeded. People who have already gone through the process from start to finish. Not those who have no experience or those who have failed and given up. Those who have failed did so because their own limitations. In my world they have not failed either, they have just used strategies that did not work, and they gave up instead of adjusting their strategies. People give up way to easily. It´s easy to give up. It´s easy to lie to ourselves with our excuses. People who have succeeded have failed countless of times, but they did not give up. They readjusted their strategy, learned and absorbed useful advice from others and continued until they made it.
People who make things look easy in public, they have practiced it countless of hours in private.
Do we really need mum and dad´s approval on our dreams. Do our friends and family need to support us? It would be great! However, we have to be realistic: we can´t expect others to understand our path. If I had listened to my mum and dad, I would not be writing this. I would not have had the privilege of working thousands of therapy / coaching sessions helping thousands of people. PowerThought Meditation Club would not exist. I gave up my 80000 $ a year income to do what I do now. I gave up my safe job while my wife was pregnant and we´d just bought an apartment. Was I scared at times? Hell yes I was, but I worked on myself to stay the course. I used the fear to my advantage. I worked harder and smarter than ever. People who cared about me was concerned. I understand that. But they did not understand the fire of my spirit. They do not understand the burning desire and hunger I have to raise the vibration of our collective consciousness. To reach in and touch the heart and Soul of my brothers and sisters. To make our world a peaceful and loving place for all life. To succeed on my terms! They did not know that side of me. They only understand life through their glasses, out of their personal logic and beliefs.
What did I do to succeed, and still do? I have physical, mental and spiritual rituals that I do every day that wires and conditions my nervous system, brain and body for a high quality life! I always work on developing myself. I read books and articles. I listen to inspirational and motivational audios. I attend seminars. Always learning and growing. And of course; I ask people who have already done what I want to do and succeeded. I do not ask advice anywhere else.
When people share their opinions and beliefs with me that are not supportive or based on their limiting viewpoint, I just discards the words and energy they shared. I do appreciate that people are trying to support me in their own way, even though it comes from their fear and insecurity, but still, I don´t take onboard the information they share, if it is not helpful.
Or I just ask them one of my favorite questions (with a smile on my face) “how do you know that´s true / are you 100% sure that what you say and believe about this is true?” That always jolts them a bit.
I don´t expect approval either. I am approving myself. It is nice with approval, of course it is, and I am always grateful for it. However, I don´t depend on it. I care about others opinions, but I do not make my choices based on them when I know in my heart that I am doing what is right, for myself and for the highest good of every Soul involved, then I am going for it. My way. I know that within every one of us there is unlimited potential! There is greatness. We have the capacity to do unimaginable things. The Universe put us here for a reason.
What excites you? What compels you? What do you love to do? if there where no limits to anything whatsoever, what would you love to do with you life? If you had 20 million dollars available and 3 months to live, what would you do with your time? Imagine meeting the 90 year old you, what would he/she tell you to do more of in your life?
The things that give you joy in life gives you an indication of what your hearts desire is. You soul purpose, love and joy are interconnected. When you have a goal or mission in place, whatever that may be; gather resources from people, books, websites, articles, etc that have quality information that supports you.
I hope my words have given you something of value. That is my intention. There is nothing right or wrong. We are here to learn and grow. If you are not where you want to be in life, it´s ok. You have time. It is never to late. Timing is perfect as it is. The most important thing to do is to work in yourself. Develop yourself, accept yourself and love yourself. The purpose of our lives may be as simple as that; to Love and accept ourselves. Out of that alignment with your Soul and the Universe – that´s when Magic starts to happen….Big time! Many of us have forgotten that we are the Universe expressing ourselves as humans for a little while. Make the best out of it. Breathe fully. Love fully. Live fully.
You are appreciated. You are valuable. You deserve all good in life.
Infinite Love,
Kenneth Soares
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